I got you, Boo!
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I used to think "I got you, Boo!" was such a delightful term of endearment.
I mean, how nice is that!?! No matter what happens, they've got each other. (Sigh) Well, when a bitches OCD flares up, things are bound to take on a whole new meaning...
The old me might have been a little over the top when it came to keeping my house, yard, car, Okay I admit it EVERYTHING clean!!! That's the first step, right? Admitting you have a problem.
I would start cleaning and one thing would just accidentally lead to another. I regularly washed the washing machine for crying out loud. Walls, windows, toaster-tray, kitchen cabinets, couch cushions, shower-head ...you name it, I regularly cleaned it. It was so bad, I had a friend show up to a dinner party in a clean room suit as a joke.
Living out in the country, at the end of a small utility line, literally had me regularly worried the power was going to go out, before I had a chance to vacuum!
That was the old me. The pre-kid era of my life.
For the most part I've recovered. I know there's a lot more to life than immaculate everything. However, EVERY once in awhile when I'm doing a cursory cleaning the old me flares up & yesterday, this was definitely the case. These were the thoughts running through my mind as I knelt down, hot with anger, on my husbands side of the bed vacuuming up his "man-fungus". (Side note: My husband sleeps in the nude and the combination of grease, hair, skin, saliva, boogers and whatever else he leaves behind, is what I refer to as his "man-fungus".)
•Don't worry about skipping that courtesy flush. I love scrubbing off that toilet tornado. I got you, Boo!
•Oh, you didn't listen to me about the sunscreen? What's that, you're peeling!?! I'll clean up those gigantic strips of skin plastered to that gorgeous leather couch and why don't you just toss that bellybutton lint on the ground. I got you, Boo!
•Too tired to shower!?! Oh, you don't like exfoliating? Washing & drying three loads of king size bedding every other day is way easier. I got you, Boo!
•You're in too big of a hurry to empty the coins out of your pockets and turn those filthy, damp, stench soaked socks right side out? I got you, Boo! ....and so does Sears $1,500 dollars later.
•You don't like having the garden hose unwound on the lawn? Oh, the camping cooler, power washer, burn barrel and extension cord running to the trailer is OK? That makes total sense. I got you, Boo!
•You're finished eating and immediately feel the need to crop dust the entire room? I don't mind finishing my meal with a gas mask on. You have a booger? I'd love to watch you pick it and smear it all over your pants, why not!?! I got you, Boo! P.S. That halibut was amazing!
•Oh, you cut the wood for the wood-stove whatever length you were in the mood for, regardless of whether is will actually fit in the wood-stove!?! Perfect. Time isn't of the essence and playing Jenga first thing in the morning is my favorite way to start the day. I got you, Boo!
•You "forgot" to rinse your dishes off for the last 10 years!?! No, worries. I've upgraded from a copper scratch pad to the Dremel 4000 to chip away your concrete coated plate. I got you, Boo!
Xoxo